The road goes ever on and on, down from the door where it began.
With heavy legs I dragged myself out into the bitterly cold dark roads and started to jog. I wanted my breathing to settle as it used to years ago but it never seemed to, so with a heavy breath I started to pray.
Earlier that evening I had the experience of high church singing a very traditional church service but with an amazing choir that took the music worship to heavenly heights. I realised as I sang along with them that here was heaven touching earth. Each time the choir rose with harmony my throat nearly choked up with emotion.
40 days and 40 nights
Shall not we your sorrow share
And from worldly joys abstain,
Fasting with unceasing prayer,
Strong with you to suffer pain?
The road seemed long and progress was slow. Legs dragging like they never had ran before, but as the torch highlighted the path ahead I kept going and started to praise God for all his mercies.
It occurred to me that as a musician, music is my worship, whether I am singing, playing a trumpet, playing an African djembe or writing music for God, music is my strongest worship, and singing along with the hymns was one more joy. As I sang be thou my vision I was struck in the fourth verse that I am still on this journey and seeking positions in a career is of no appeal, it is doing the will of the Father.
Be thou my vision
Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
thou mine inheritance, now and always:
thou and thou only, first in my heart,
High King of heaven, my treasure thou art.
I turned down a dark road and got off the busy roads, the church lay ahead, I passed a house of a friend from church and so I prayed for their for their family, for the junior church and the pathfinders. The legs were starting to feel more relaxed now. Oh how I had left exercise for far too long.
First the ash, then more music and then the bread and wine. As I sang I thought about the day, how I am not here to just do a job but be a light bearer to those who have no lights. I felt sad that I had spoken to so many children and they were lost, having no reason tocarry on. Given up.
As I ran around the church three times, each time praising God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit, I suddenly started to be aware of the cross. In the time of the earthly ministry of Jesus the cross would have been a frequent torture and killing machine the lowest of the low, the ones the Romans wanted to make an example of, and rather than just walk past these crosses Jesus decided to not just sympathise but to be up on a cross suffering alongside with them.
I pray as I run each evening that God will pour down His Spirit onto the masses, that the church will see growth and healing will come.